 |
| Emili Dubar |
Recently, I was waiting to cross Garfield
Boulevard, the street in front of the school I am working at, one cold day when
the teacher I work with jokingly shouted, “Let’s make a run for it!” as cars
rushed towards us.
“Go ahead if you want,” I replied, “but
I value my life!”
We laughed as we continued to wait
and watch the stream of cars fly by, but behind my laughter, I couldn’t help
but feel a rush of pride in my ability to speak those words aloud: “I value my
life.”
There was a time when I really believed
I would never be happy. I didn’t feel like I had a purpose. I woke up most days
feeling undeserving of the things I had and I wondered if I would ever feel
like I offered any contribution to society.
By
the time I reached college, I had come a long way from where I was back then,
but at times, I still felt like something was missing. I wanted to take action
and contribute something in a way I had never had the time or courage to do
before.
As
a teacher’s assistant in a fourth and fifth grade classroom, my work can still
sometimes feel small, especially when the kids continue to get in trouble for
behavioral problems. However, I am still happy because every once in a while, I
am shown by the kids how much of a difference I am really making. For example,
after giving a small lesson on the solar system at the end of the day to the fourth
graders, one girl came up to me afterwards and said, “I really like science
when you teach it, Ms. Emili!”
On
another day, I was working with a fourth grade boy who struggles with several
subjects due to a learning disability. Lately, we have been working on his
self-esteem before schoolwork because he gets easily discouraged. On this day
however, we were filling out a worksheet. In between questions, he asked if I
would remember him after I left Chicago. I told him I would definitely remember
him because I care about him. He then said, “Good, because I’ll remember you
forever!”
This
is why I became a Dominican Volunteer. By serving others, I find purpose. If I
can make a difference in one or two lives, I have contributed something,
however small. I don’t have to change the world to contribute to society as
long as I can change someone else’s world in some way. Hearing those kind words
from the fourth graders has made me more fully realize my value as I continue
to do this work. It can be frustrating, stressful, and occasionally maddening,
but moments like these make it worthwhile. And I am happy. I value my life.
 |
| Emili with her House of Connections Community |
